Monday, September 12, 2011

If I could give one piece of advice to all the advice-givers....

It would be this:

Just because you've read about or experienced something, doesn't make you an authority on it. PERIOD.

Got it? 
Makes sense right?
No? Well then let me explain:
This is something that I notice constantly on a few of the parenting/pregnancy message boards, and something that I've witnessed happening to friends when certain taboo subjects arise or when advice is solicited either via blogs or even in person. All of a sudden everyone has to chime in and everyone is convinced that they are right. I've even seen people claim to be experts or say they are 'studying to be a midwife'...
For the record; typing things into Google or Wikipedia is not "studying" and does not make you an "expert"... otherwise college wouldn't be so expensive.
Then there is the 'I've been there so I know better than everyone' crowd. I don't care if you had PC or GD or a colicky baby, a C-section or a beautiful candlelit home birth in your family's bathtub with violins playing while you successfully breastfed on the very first attempt. I don't care if your baby sleeps through the night, big whoop, so does mine but I don't have the audacity to tell other people they are doing something wrong if their baby wakes up throughout the night. Everyone's experience is uniquely theirs and should be treated as such. Your way is not the only way. Your experience is not universal and your decisions are not right for anyone but you. Short of child abuse and other extremes everyone has a right to gestate, labor, feed and raise their children however they wish...
You are NOT an expert on pregnancy/childbirth/parenting.
I'm sorry, but someone needed to tell you.
Don't worry, we can still be friends.
Just keep your mouth shut.

***Please note this is not in response to anything that has happened on my blog. All of my followers have been amazing and supportive despite my hospital birth (Gasp!) and my inability to breastfeed (Surely, I just didn't try?! Everyone can breastfeed!!)***


Small Kucing said... guilty of that sometimes...sorry

MsAngelStarr said...

Haha no worries. I'm sure we all are occasionally. It just gets way out of hand sometimes and it's not necessary. We should be supporting each others as mothers. Not passing judgement.

Andrea said...

New follower from VB! Great blog.

MsAngelStarr said...


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